Sacred Contracts. We all have them. We all experience them. They are simply people and events we encounter in our lives that influence it in a major way. This INCLUDES shitty ones. Shitty events, Shitty people. The train that annoyingly stops you but causes that pause in time that leads to you running into your soulmate down the road. Sacred contract. Yes, the train. And yes, it sucks in the moment.

Personal Growth is hard. Especially if you have a bad perspective and viewpoint on the shitty sacred contract, itself. DON’T stay in the “woe is me, this sucks, why does this have to happen to me etc..” Instead, reflect. Sit with it. If you don’t look at something or someone in your life that is crap from an outer perspective, then you don’t gain any knowledge or insight on the WHY. And if you don’t ask yourself the WHY, (why did this happen, why did that person do that, or why did I get myself into that mess etc.) then you don’t give yourself the chance to learn.

Everything in life is connected and everything is a learning opportunity and a platform for healing and growth. If you recognize it. If you DONT, then the Universe will throw that lesson right back at you until you DO learn from it. Until you DO grow. Until you DO heal. Healing causes self awareness, self awareness leads to consciousness and consciousness leads to awakening.

Even the shitty contracts are meant to be, to LEAD you to the great ones. But the Universe will not lead you to the great ones until you’ve learned, grown and healed from the shit ones. I myself, have gone through this many a times and have had some very hard lessons but have grown exponentially from recognizing that the pain was a blessing. Your meant to go through it, because the Universe is SPEAKING to you in those moments, in those relationships. Especially the shitty ones.

Some examples for me would be my Ex Husband and the abusive boyfriend I had after my divorce. I’ll start with the Ex Husband.

Of course my contract with him gave me my two beautiful boys but going through my domestic violence charge against him, our divorce, and all the pain and hurdles that went along with it, also led me to an abundance of blessings including friends, life experiences, And MASSIVE personal growth.

My two soul sisters, my best friends, whom I saw last night for a little Christmas exchange, I met through my domestic violence class I had to go through, after punching my EX husband in the face. He led me to them. That horrific experience LED me to them. They, too, are contracts of mine. True blessings in my life, those two.

A few nights ago I was at the department store and walked in, not knowing any idea what I was going to get them for our gift exchange. I was LED to the home décor section, and saw this pillow instantly that had the word HOPE on it, with a little inspirational message. I grabbed two and was in and out in 5 minutes. Easy choice, as we have all three been through so much and continue to heal and grow together. Our amazing counselor in class was Lydia and my one girlfriend still sees her on a personal level even though our class has been long behind us. For a part of our Christmas present, my friend gave us all cuttings off of Lydia’s plant she keeps in her office, because she was so special to us. “I named these little plants Love, Faith and HOPE” she said. Just like the pillows I gave them that night. All things connect in life. Pay attention.

My abusive boyfriend thrust me into my awakening and I went through an ascension the day I broke up with him. My experience that day I will have to do on another post as its a whole story in itself. Regardless, I had not learned or healed from my lesson of codependency from my ex husband so the universe gave me The boyfriend. My TwinFlame and I were at a disconnect and in separation and The boyfriend was introduced to me by a mutual friend. I jumped into it quickly and clung to him like white on rice. I had not yet learned of my abandonment wound I now know my Flame exposed for me. Which is a GOOD thing might I add. I needed that lesson.

The boyfriend did have some good qualities that initially attracted me to him. He was charismatic and funny. A confident man. Successful. A rags to riches story. We liked the same things for the most part and it wasn’t hard to go out and have fun together. We got along easily. He was very doting over me. However that escalated to control and obsession fairly quickly. He spoke of marriage all the time. Was adamant on entering my little family of three. I looked over red flags, like him joking around about “ending my life” several times and having an obvious temper. Paired with a drinking/pot problem and the occasional use of recreational drugs. After being with him for 6 mos. he wanted to “have a place in Denver” as he lived in St. Louis and traveled 90% of the time for work. He would fly me to wherever he was working when I didn’t have my boys which kept the relationship afloat. My lease was up on my current place so “we” got an apartment that he felt suitable and met “his standards.” A place out of my own personal budget, or so I thought at the time, but he liked it and was paying for it, so whatever right. I, thankfully, signed the lease solely in my name in April. By the first week of June he had beaten me up twice since I had known him. Both times he brought up my TwinFlame…..yikes. He had given me a credit card for the “family” just gas, groceries that type of stuff. I never used it for anything else but the basics. One June morning we argued over the phone and I went to take the boys to baseball. I stopped to fill the car up with gas and he had shut the credit card down. This wasnt the first time he used this type of “punishment” towards me when he was pissed or whatever. Standing at the gas pump a voice came to me. Not mine. My first experience of clairaudience from a guide. “ What are you doing?” It said. I paused, furrowed my brows, looked around, confused. I shook my head and said aloud “good fucking question.”

At baseball I broke up with him, drove home, my mind racing. “What the fuck am I going to do? Kelsey, you cant afford this apartment on top of food, bills, entertainment ect for the boys. But you have to do this, Kelsey. Your miserable. What would your father say if he knew anything about what this man’s done? You have to set the example for the boys. You have to be strong. You HAVE to walk away and never look back. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.”

By the time I arrived home he was blowing up my phone, begging and pleading. Apologizing. I stood my ground. I didn’t cry. The boys knew no different. I felt relief but was obviously concerned on the financial aspect, my mind reeling. “What am I going to do, What am I going to do.” I sat in bed, thinking. My oldest son comes rushing in. “Mom!” Snaps me out of my self doubting talk trance. “Ya baby?”…”Mom! Look how many pages I’ve read so far for my reading goal. 888!”

And that’s when, something, just, shifted. Clicked… in me. I stared at that number and felt, so….drawn to it. A series of crazy events straight from the divine happened over the remaining course of that evening but I will tell that tale another time.

My point being. Even The boyfriend and that shitty sacred Contract was meant to be. And I’m grateful for it. I forgive him. I forgive myself. I’m thankful for all my contracts, good and bad. Appreciate them. Recognize them. Realize the bad ones are just hurdles to get over. Learning opportunities to heal from and move on from. You’ll find on the other side, is more Peace, Joy, and Understanding in your life. All things are connected. All things are divinely guided towards your purpose. And EVERYONE has purpose. Wake up, listen to what your soul is whispering to you. And you’ll start to hear what yours is.

Love and Light, Kelsey